I think i will never have a bf because i do not let guys get anywhere near me?

i think i was d and now i do not let guys get ANYWHERE near me emotionally or physically because i have a pure disgust with myself for being such a tramp and slut for no reason. Please help me. I do get attracted to guys but i feel like my uality is only slutty and disgusting because thats what i have been taught my whole life. (not allowed to wear spaghetti strap shirts, no skin showing shirts. no . Mom said it would make guys think bad thoughts which caused me to go crazy with it and hint at guys all the time in high school). I am so messed up when it comes to . And my mom is still soooooooooooooooooo judgmental about its hard to do anything i want. She says she was d growing up and now shes all ****** up about it and trying to make us ****** up about it. And she tries to suck my uality out of me.